Creating Experiences That Help Relationships Thrive

Category: Dating (Page 2 of 6)

What Men Wish Women Knew (Part 1)

The ChatDid you know that the phrase “can we talk” is a conversation killer for most men? Or that the best way to talk to your fella is while you are doing something else?

Those are a couple of the relationship tips I learned from watching the video “What Men Wish Women Knew.” There were soooo many nuggets of wisdom from the fellas. Continue reading

A $1,000 Lesson on Identity

happy people are those who do the mostThe past week was pretty crummy. It started last Friday when I got a check and a letter in the mail. I was happy to receive the check. But not so happy to receive the letter. The letter said something along these lines “Dear Simone: We really like your writing, but we can no longer afford to pay you.”

Dang.

Just when I was getting comfortable telling people that I’m a writer. A real one. It feels like the rug is getting pulled up from under me.

The second boot dropped when I realized that the magazine I’m writing for is probably not going to pay me for my work. (I know this because I reached out to two of the other writers and we are all in the same boat. And combined the magazine owes us thousands of dollars.)

But more than the loss of money, what I’m really struggling with is the loss of identity. Am I still a writer if no one pays me to write? Continue reading


How Will I Know
I was having dinner with a few friends last year and one of my friends asked me “when is it a good time to have emotional intimacy?” I wasn’t fully prepared to answer that question and I think I mumbled something about trust developing over time.

But, as I went home I began to think about the question more. I think the question my friend was asking was the same question that Whitney Houston asked in her song “How Will I Know?” Both my friend and Whitney Houston wanted to know — how do you know if your fella really loves you? And I think it is a question that every girl asks at one time or another.

Hollywood: A Set-Up for Disappointment

The thing is Hollywood can set us up for disappointment. They’ll have us thinking that– the birds are going to sing, that time will slow down, and that trumpets will sound when the man of our dreams whispers those three simple words into our ears: I love you. Continue reading

Who Else Wants to Avoid Getting Hurt?

“I want to have 4-6 kids. I want to be a stay-at-home-mom. I want to be married by the time I’m 30. And, I want to have my first child by the time I’m 33,” these were the talking points I was able to drop into the dinner conversation of me and Morris’s second date at Uno’s Pizzeria.

In my mind, I was just laying out the future and giving him the opportunity to determine if he was in or out. But my running buddy, Rachel, told me the next day that I needed to chill. Well, those weren’t her exact words. It was something to the effect of “just get to know him and see where it goes.”

Simone Boyd, Reporting for Battle

Looking back, my attempt to lay out my life plan was really a plan to protect myself from getting hurt or wasting time. My biological clock was ticking and I didn’t have time to waste! I needed to be in control of where our relationship was going and how quickly it progressed. Continue reading

Hiding Mistakes, Can Cost Your Family

Don't let mistakes spread throughoutHave you ever noticed how people in the same family often repeat the same mistake?

For example, if a child is born to an unwed mother…the child may go on to repeat the same mistakes. Well, I witnessed that happen in my own family and it made me sooooo angry…because I could have stopped it!

But it turns out that it’s not just my family that’s prone to repeat each others mistakes. It happened with one of the most famous Biblical families in history too: Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The same mistake–willful deception–was repeated over 3 generations. Continue reading

What Do Men Want?

Have you ever wondered “What do men want?”

Well, I spent a good part of 2014 interviewing Christian, Black, Men to get their perspectives on relationships. And I got a chance to share what I was learning as a guest on WEBR Radio Fairfax’s show, A Different Spirit. Here’s an overview of what we discussed:

  • A man’s most burning question
  • what I’m learning from my interviews with Christian, Black, Men
  • their thoughts on relationships barriers we, women, raise
  • And what Christian, black, men look for in a wife.

If you’d like a peak into the mind of a man listen to the radio show and click here for my  Christian Girl’s Guide to Attracting & Marrying Mr. Right – Quiz! paperbackstanding2

 

Imagine you and your spouse are whisked away for an all-expense paid 3-day vacation at an exclusive resort. While hanging out on a crisp Saturday morning, your spouse turns to you and says “Look at that hummingbird, have you ever seen one like that before?” You nod (without looking up), say “uh huh” and return to sorting through your Facebook posts.

Your spouse mentioning that hummingbird is an example of an emotional bid for acceptance. An emotional bid is a request for attention, affection, or support and your response to that request generates a critical outcome. Here’s a quick video that explains “emotional bids” . Continue reading

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