My Family Fantastic

Creating Experiences That Help Relationships Thrive

My Parents Don’t Agree with New Jersey

Last week, same-sex marriage became legal in New Jersey. I haven’t discussed this topic with my parents, but I know they don’t agree with New Jersey.

You see, I learned my parents beliefs by what they did. They took me and my siblings to church. They told us they were praying for our respective spouses, and taught us to be loving toward others. They always taught me to show kindness. And, to never be afraid to share my beliefs.

Me with my Kindergarten Class

In kindergarten, I was afraid to pray at lunch time and give thanks to God for my meals. The kids at school made fun of me. So, I stopped praying, because I was embarrassed. For some reason, my Dad asked me about saying my prayers at dinner one day. And, I started to cry.

I knew my dad would be disappointed in me.

My Dad told me that I should continue praying for my lunch at school and that I should never be afraid of what other people think. He told me that I have to be brave and strong. My dad was always teaching me to be brave and strong.

Dad and Me

At five, he left me at Pizza Hut to order pizza and eat lunch while he went across the street to buy paint.

At six, he sent me into the Sheraton Hotel to retrieve a visitor that was joining my family for dinner. I walked into the hotel lobby, went to the front desk, and asked the concierge for Ms. Rutherford. ┬áMy dad waited at the curb in the “no parking” area in front of a hotel.

He was always pushing me beyond what I thought I could achieve. That’s what a good father does…he provides security and a safe place for you to fall and stumble and to grow. A good father teaches you to be brave, and helps you to push your own limits.

But, it was my mother that actually went to school and prayed with me at lunch time. That’s what a good mother does…she teaches you, shows you the way, and she is there to comfort you.

Me as an infant with my mother

And, for some odd reason when my mother joined me for lunch…all the kids joined in and wanted to pray too. I think it is because my mother is tall and glamorous and people love being around her. She prayed with me and all the kids wanted to join in.

That’s why I needed both parents. My dad helped me be brave and strong. And, my mother held my hand and went with me during the tough times.

My parents don’t agree with New Jersey, and neither do I. Families need both parents, a mother and a father.


  1. What a poignant post and lovely pictures!! Thank you so much for your courage and thoughtfulness in broaching a difficult issue. I agree with you (and your parents)! Having a mother and father in the home is a priceless blessing and the foundation of a healthy, well-balanced family.

  2. Thanks, Simone! Your encouragement is a gift. Admittedly, I was a bit afraid to write about my definition of family. I agree that a mother and father are a priceless gift, and I can't thank God enough for mine. But, I AM breathing a sigh of relief to know that you agree with me. Thanks for commenting!

  3. Wow! I..we…Brian and Carol have always admired your family's values. You are an amazing woman.

    • First, forgive me for the delayed response. I generally try to respond in one day, but my Thanksgiving week just evaporated! I am SO excited to know that you agree, and thank you SO much for commenting.

      You know, living in D.C. has opened my eyes to the fact that not all family values are created equal. And sometimes I worry that what's right, will be overtaken by what's loudest and fashionable. It is comforting to know that we are not alone.

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