I hate to talk about sex. (And hate isn’t a word I use lightly.) There’s still a lot of shame I have associated from the past, and even though I know it’s all under the blood and I’m a new creature in Christ…there is still a part of my brain that reminds me of my wrong doing.
I grew up in the church. And I’ve always known that sex before marriage is wrong. But we never really talked about why. The conversation just sort of stopped at ‘don’t do it.’ Continue reading
“No man wants to be around a bunch of thirsty Christian singles.” That’s what a lady said to me a few months ago when I asked her about singles ministries. It was the second time in one week I’d heard someone use that phrase.
And it bothered me.
It bothered me because these two ladies felt there was something wrong with them because they wanted to get married. They had internalized the idea that wanting a husband, made them desperate and needy.
A couple weeks ago, I got to interview DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good about their new relationship book, The Wait. My editor asked that I write a story about the arch of their relationship—being single, married, and eventual parents. And I did.
But today, I wanted to share parts of the interview I had to leave out.
Why I’m SO Excited
It’s not often we get to hear from a Hollywood couple on why they decided to honor God by saving sex for marriage. (To say that I am excited about their message is an understatement, y’all!)
But I also wanted to get another perspective from a Christian, black, man and get some clarity on points I didn’t quite understand in the book.
We talked about:
Why singles should put themselves first
Why we shouldn’t be treated like spouses until we’re married
Why Meagan didn’t ask DeVon out
And whether or not women should make the first move
I’ve been watching a LOT of ESPN’s 30 for 30 lately. I’m not a huge sports fan, but with these films you get the stories behind all the glitz and glamour of high-profile athletes and sporting events. The last one I watched was about Maurice Clarett, and at its core his 30 for 30 is about fathers and sons.
The film documents the revival of the Ohio State football program and the down fall of Maurice. He was a promising athlete, started as a Freshman running back, and carried the team to a National Championship on his back.
After the season was over, however, he was suspended indefinitely for NCAA violations. And his promising football career spiraled downward into a life of crime.
I remember my 25th birthday like it was yesterday. I was living in El Paso, TX with my granddad and studying to get my MBA. My parents sent roses to the teaching assistant’s office, and I was grateful. (Who isn’t grateful to get roses at work?!)
But I also think I had a case of birthday blues.
It felt like I was behind.
Because I had this grand plan: I was going to meet my husband at 24, get married at 26, and have a kid at 28. The thing is, none of that had happened. Continue reading
For some folks, the holidays are filled with family, love, and laughter. For others, the holidays are constant reminders of what is missing in your life. Either way, the holiday stress will probably visit you (despite the love, joy, and peace that should be the reason for the season).
Because someone is guaranteed to come at you wrong, steal your parking space, or tap dance on your last nerve. At least, that has been my experience:-). Here’s two ways to handle the holiday stress: resting and sowing. Continue reading