Creating Experiences That Help Relationships Thrive
….the children do play. My 26 Year-Old brother, Izo, is running the house while my parents are away. He sent me this video of dinner this week.
Eighteen months ago Morris and I embarked on a journey to become debt free. As a couple, we had acquired $58,000 worth of debt in student/car loans. Someone told us about the perils of debt, and how it enslaves you and prevents you from building wealth. The someone was Dave Ramsey.
Dave says that if you’ve gone into debt, you need to work as hard to get out of debt as a gazelle works to run from a cheetah. He references Proverbs 6, it says:
My child, if you have put up security for a friend’s debt
or agreed to guarantee the debt of a stranger—
2 if you have trapped yourself by your agreement
and are caught by what you said—
3 follow my advice and save yourself,
for you have placed yourself at your friend’s mercy.
Now swallow your pride;
go and beg to have your name erased.
4 Don’t put it off; do it now!
Don’t rest until you do.
5 Save yourself like a gazelle escaping from a hunter,
like a bird fleeing from a net.
So, we got gazelle intense.
We stuck to a budget. We downgraded our dates to Chipotle, Chick-fil-A, and Subway. We sacrificed trips. We checked out movies at the library, lived in a studio apartment, we made our lunches for work…and this week made our final student loan payment. And, now we are debt-free! Here is a video of Dave explaining Gazelle Intensity.
I opened the refrigerator door last week to discover that two bags of frozen vegetables had been removed from the freezer, opened, and placed in the refrigerator.
The bags of vegetables were identical.
Both bags were clearly labeled: KEEP FROZEN.
Yet, the vegetables had been left in the refrigerator.
This was a major problem. And, I was furious.
Only one other person lives in our 300 sq ft studio apartment. So, I knew immediately knew who to blame.
Why had our Trader Joe’s Country Potatoes with Haricots Verts & Wild Mushrooms been carelessly moved to the refrigerator?
Each bag cost $2.99. ( A total of $6.49 with tax).
Didn’t I always say “waste not, want not?”
This was clearly wasting. And, hungry children across the globe could have feasted for a week on $6.49.
I thought about calling Morris at work to inquire about the reason for leaving frozen vegetables in the refrigerator. But, I decided against it.
Thankfully.
On the way to work, I was saved by the words of Dale Carnegie in How to Win Friends and Influence People. In Part Six of his book, Carnegie describes the great tragedy of Abraham Lincoln’s life – his marriage. For almost a quarter century, Mrs. Lincoln nagged and harassed the life out of him.
She was always complaining, always criticizing her husband; nothing about him was ever right. He was stoop-shouldered, he walked awkwardly and lifted his feet straight up and down like an Indian. She complained that there was no spring in his step, no grace in his movement; and she mimicked his gait. She didn’t like the way his huge ears stood out at right angles. She even told him that his nose wasn’t straight, and on, and on, and on. Did all this nagging and scolding and raging change Lincoln? In one way, yes. It certainly changed his attitude toward her. It made him regret his unfortunate marriage, and it made him avoid her presence as much as possible. While a circuit attorney, he remained out on the circuit for three months in the spring and three months in autumn. Other attorneys managed to return home for the weekends, but Lincoln dreaded to go home. So, he didn’t. Such are the results that Mrs. Lincoln obtained by nagging.
The aforementioned chapter is entitled, How to Dig Your Marital Grave in the Quickest Possible Way.
And after reading it, I decided that $6.49 and two bags of frozen vegetables were not worth nagging about.
By the way, there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for the vegetables to be in the refrigerator: Morris was thawing them to eat for breakfast the following morning.
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| “If you take me out of this watering bucket, I will bite you” |
It was a hot sticky August day.
And, my brother Isaac was watering his plants.
I guess he had been outside too long, because my nephew Cinco climbed into the watering bucket.
To me, the look on his face says “If you take me out of this bucket, I will bite you.”
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| When you get married/engaged, a lot of people will give you advice – some good and some bad. In my opinion, this is the best marriage advice Morris and I have received to date and we keep it posted on the refrigerator. |
Last week, I received a kind rejection note from one of the magazines that I submitted an article to. Although, I was a wee bit disappointed that I was rejected…the editor was gracious enough to respond in three days and give me constructive criticism.(Typically, editors respond in three months…if they choose to respond.)
My previous two submissions were met with complete silence, and I am thrilled to hear back from someone. So, for me, getting a response is 1) progress and 2) encouraging.
I’ve been on a quest to escape my boring job for 18 months. And after repeating the grueling process of informational interviews, submitting applications, following up, and interviewing for umpteen times. I’ve decided to give up the non-profit job search and refocus my efforts on writing. You know that question that interviewers ask you “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I would always think “Honey, I plan to be on a book tour for my first novel by then.”
But, I would always say “I would like to stay with the organization as long as the relationship is mutually beneficial.” Because you can’t tell an organization that counsels people or educates children that you want to write a novel that tells stories of families conquering life together. Typically, writing novels does not fit into their respective strategic plans.
So, I’ve decided to write with the same fervor that I gave the job search and we’ll see what happens. I don’t know where this writing journey will take me, but I do know one thing- persistence is the key to being successful.
Morris and I studied persistence last week in 12 Traits of the Greats, and it says that “great achievers often achieve great things simply because they refuse to give up. They don’t retreat in the face of setbacks. They don’t shirk in the face of disappointment, and they don’t quiver in the face of delay.”
In my own family, my brother, Isaac, is the model of persistence. He has been relentless in his pursuit of a degree in sociology. Despite setbacks, discouragements, and having to balance being a husband, father, and having a full-time job…he graduated this year. And now, he has been asked to present his Senior Thesis at a sociology conference. I’ll be leaning on Isaac for advice heavily as I pursue this book tour dream, and reminding myself of Winston Churchill’s speech “Never Give In“.
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| Photo from My Black Piano |
I know that you too are pursuing goals and dreams. So, let’s stick with it and keep me updated on your progress…and I’ll write about your journey and we’ll get to the finish line together. Lauzi, a Chinese philosopher, said that “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” So, we might as well get to steppin‘.
E-mail : simone@myfamilyfantastic.com
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