My Family Fantastic

Creating Experiences That Help Relationships Thrive

Author: Simone (Page 14 of 21)

A Face of Courage: Antoinette Tuff

August 24, 2013 / / 3 Comments

Last week, Morris and I studied courage. In the series, The 12 Traits of the Greats courage is defined as the mental or moral strength to venture. 12 Traits explains that courage is more about action than forethought and that success is simply the action of getting of the bleachers and getting involved.

Antoinette Tuff
Photo from Gwinnett Daily Post

That’s what Antoinette Tuff did this week when she persuaded a would-be murderer at an elementary school to put down his AK-47 and surrender to the police. She got involved.

 

Ms. Tuff didn’t wait for others to get involved. She didn’t wait to see what was going to happen. She didn’t analyze the perils of getting involved. She just went with the wisdom of Nike and just did it.

 

And, because of her courage untold lives were saved.

12 Traits says that when you force yourself to do the opposite of what your natural tendencies are telling you to do, and when you turn toward fear instead of away from it, your fear shrinks.

After hearing the story of Ms. Tuff, I decided to start marketing my writing again and shrinking my fears. You see, I had a couple of story ideas rejected in the past year…and it takes some time for me to bounce back. So, I haven’t submitted any articles to publishers in weeks. But, hearing Ms. Tuff’s story inspired me and gave me courage – I submitted three stories this week to newspapers and magazines.

 

Other folks in my family are shrinking their fears too. My brother, Izo, is leaving his job at a mortgage company this week to pursue his dream of being a producer- with no job prospects in sight. And my brother, Zaiah, has a tryout with a developmental team for the NBA in early September.  I’ll keep you posted on our progress.

Courage has many faces, and here are a three that inspire me:

Sir Winston Churchill
Photo from Wikipedia
Tank Man in Tiananman Square
Photo by Charlie Cole
Cesar Chavez
Photo from Wikipedia
What  face of courage has inspired you?

Guest Post: On the Road to Nineveh and Getting to Destiny

August 15, 2013 / / 1 Comment
Obie, My Nephew Cinco, and Me

 

 My life has been interesting from the start. I was born at home and delivered by my father.  I weighed 11 lbs and 12 ounces. Needless to say, I was a huge baby. While growing up, I always seemed like the “special one” out of the rest of my siblings. And when I say “special” I mean; they thought I was mentally challenged!I didn’t talk until I was age five. And, I was confused about my race. I know, special right?

 

But, going into my highschool days there started to be a sense of normality, or so I thought. I was a typical teenager whose mind was not focused on school but rather on hanging with girls and playing Nintendo games. This was the “I can’t” era of my life.

If there was something that was challenging, I always went to the mindset “I can’t”. It started with school, but overflowed into my everyday life. I started to see that I couldn’t complete simple tasks. It was to the point where my mom and older sister, S.B., were ready to whisk me off to military school.

My junior year, my father gave me an ultimatum.  Either I could quit soccer which I loved and play basketball which I despised or I could not play sports at all. I had played soccer since I was four. Soccer was a love and a passion. If I had continued playing soccer and my father had not heard the Lord, and more importantly acted on it- there is no telling where my life would have gone. In high school, I was standing at a stout 5’7, and I am currently standing a lean 6’9.  Needless, to say my dreams to play professional soccer would have been short lived. This is why God established families, and designed them to have a father.

 

Fast forward, I started off at a community college with my older brother, Izo. He helped guide me through the process of how to survive college life and how to get things accomplished.  Not only did that set a precedent on how to handle situations, but it also taught me to work hard and keep a cool head through adversity. Which are some of the key reasons why I have succeeded. When my brother left, graduated and moved on to the next step the Lord had for him…I lost my strength. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, it says two are better than one. And without strength, I fell into despair. I was on an island surrounded by a sea of adversities. And many I swam through, but you only can stay afloat so long by yourself.


To give you a visual on how the direction of my life was going I compare it with the story of Jonah and the whale. My father, while I was young, heard the Lord and spoke my life into a purposed destiny, but like Jonah I strayed away from what I know I was suppose to be doing. I decided to go my own way, and just like the story of Jonah I spent a good a bit of time in the belly of the whale. For me it wasn’t a whale, but I was alone surrounded in a sea of uncertainty.

I still had family, but instead of reaching out I tried to do everything on my own. And, I relied on my own resources. In the end, I quickly sank to the ocean floor weighed down by struggles and I had no idea of where to go. During my sea of uncertainty God took my broken life, fixed it, and he blessed me with a beautiful baby boy.

My Beautiful Boy

This baby boy, honestly, brought me back to the light. I knew the road I was going down was that of destruction. But to see my son be born, and  with his eyes open and hands in the praying position… my heart melted. And on March 23, 2013, I knew I had to get back on track. So, the Lord allowed me a second chance to fulfill my destiny. I’m not quite to Nineveh yet,  but I’m on the road…. and I know it will be a beautiful journey.

Getting to Destiny-
Zaiah

The Know It All

August 6, 2013 / / 4 Comments

I became one them y’all. Yes, the dreaded know it all. I was sitting at my desk last week, and decided to review my first blog, Countdown 2 My Brother’s Wedding. It was fun to go back and read what my single self thought about being single. And, then I noticed that I was content being single, and most of the commentators were content being single.

The problem was the know it alls that inserted themselves in my life and were always pushing me to get married, start a family, find somebody, etc. etc.

Well, I became that Know It All.

I was having dinner with a lovely friend, and I casually mentioned “So, are you dating anyone?”

“No,” she said.

“Well, don’t you worry. God, has someone really awesome for you! I just know it,” I said.

“Perhaps, God doesn’t. Some people are called to singleness, like the apostle Paul,” She said.

And, I thought hmmmm… maybe.  But you, you are pretty and smart, and kind…surely there is someone out there for you. And, then I began to run down the list of all the eligible bachelors that we know and ask whether or not each and everyone was a suitable match.

How dreadful of me?!?! I had done exactly what I previously complained about, and inserted myself into her life.

Sadly, my lovely friend is not alone. My long-suffering siblings have to put up with my know-it-all self sometimes too. I shared a couple of months ago about my younger brother that failed to follow the plans I had for his life. He is doing amazingly well, and has written a guest post for next week.

It just goes to show you, I do not Know It All.

 

How to Ask Your Hubby for Help

July 30, 2013 / / 0 Comments
Photo from Hello Beautiful

I’ve hit the jackpot twice. First, when I was born into my family. And second, when Morris, my husband, asked me to marry him. Being raised in a loving, family of eight children has taught me about people, how families operate, and how to overcome the challenges that life brings every day. I’ve also learned from being married for 15 months.

 

And, my friends often ask me, “What should I look for in a husband?” “How is married life?” and “What advice do you have?”

 

And, I said to myself “Self, what if you could help your friends and others avoid your mistakes?” I did not answer myself, because that would just be crazy. But I hope you, as the reader, will learn from my mistakes and not repeat them.

 

I recently learned how to ask my husband for help.

I found that it is different from asking my brothers for assistance. Asking my brothers for help was more like telling them to do something. And, Morris was having none of that.

A few months ago, I mentioned to Morris that we had a friend’s barbecue to attend. Admittedly, I did not give him much advance notice, the affair was an hour and ten minutes away, and he had never met these friends.  But, he was getting barbecue out of the deal!
 

And, I could not figure out why I was getting the “almost silent treatment.”  The “almost silent treatment” consists of one-word responses, shrugs, and grunts. Finally, I figured it out. I had taken away his time, and Morris was grumpy.We talked about it, and I learned from that experience.

And, this spring…I got the asking right.
While sitting at our monthly budget meeting, I broached the subject of spring cleaning. I was a bit timid at first. “Hey, honey, you know there is a lot of work to be done around here…have you seen how dirty those base boards are? We are going to have to do some serious spring cleaning.”

After a bit of back and forth, Morris agreed to block off a Saturday for the benefit of cleanliness and order in our home. Success!

 

Because I’m Baptist, I’ll give you three tips on how to ask
your hubby for help:


  1. CONSIDER HIS PLANS

Show him that you are not selfish. Ask if he has plans.

 

  1. ASK EARLY, AND REMIND HIM

The bigger the task, the more time he needs to mentally prepare. I asked three married/engaged guys about this subject, and all of them said the same thing. “Ask early, and remind me.”

 

  1. DO NOT CONVEY A SENSE OF URGENCY IF IT IS NOT URGENT 

As women, we often like to do things now, simply because we’re thinking about it. But, things don’t always have to be done right now. Let’s not confuse the important with the urgent. So, when there is an urgent need…our men will run to the rescue.

Financial Peace

July 26, 2013 / / 0 Comments

 “75 Percent of the marriages that end in divorce, end because of finances.” That’s what our Deacon told us during one of our premarital counseling. And, it made me think…”if Morris and I could get on the same page with regards to finances, we could avoid a lot of headache and drama down the road.”

So, we enrolled in a class at our church called Financial Peace University. The course was two hours a week for 12-weeks, and it was grueling. There were chapters to read, budgets to balance, conversations to have, etc. But, at the end of the course…we understood more about each other, how we view money, and how we hope to raise our children.

You see, Morris never had to go without anything as a child. Money for him, is simply a resource. I, on the other hand, view money as security.

Growing up in a family of eight children, made me believe money was always elusive. It always seemed that we never had enough. We frequently ate beans and rice, and rice and beans. And, I can remember having our electricity cut off a few times. But, my mother always tried to make it fun for us. We would light candles and “campout” in the living room. It is hard to raise a family of ten on $30,000, but my parents did it and still managed to give generously to others.

Morris and I plan to give generously also. But, right now we are focused on paying off our student loans (although we do give to our church). Since we began the Financial Peace plan in January of 2012, we have paid off $48,000 worth of debt.  We have $5,532.20 to go until we are debt-free, and it is exciting that we will soon reach our goal. But, I’m more excited that being on the same page with money has brought us so much closer together.

Matthew 6:21 says that “where your treasure is there will your heart be also.” And, both of hearts are in the same place- using money to build toward the future. And not, spending it on the latest gadgets, trends, or status symbols.

So, tell me. How do you view money and why?

ps: Four of our friends/family have taken the class, and one couple is already debt-free. Go Team Watkins!  You can read about their road to financial freedom here

A Family Reunion

July 18, 2013 / / 2 Comments

A few week’s ago we had a family reunion for my dad’s side of the family. It turned out great, but it was a rough road to get there. You see, my dad and his siblings don’t have parents anymore. My grandfather died in July of last year. And, he hadn’t been in the ground 6 hours before the fighting began among the siblings.

So, we, the grandchildren, staged a coup de ta.

We sat down and had a VERY long talk about how their sibling squabbling was affecting us as grandchildren/children. It wasn’t pretty. And, we realized that even we (the grandchildren) had some stuff to work out amongst ourselves.

But, the end result was good. Our parents agreed to let us take over the family reunion this year. They agreed not to talk negatively about each other… to each other. And, they agreed that we have to stay close even though their parents, our grandparents, are gone.

Our family is mending, and we had a great family reunion. Lots of good food, games, rest, a trip to see the Motown Revue, and a black bear stopped by for a visit. Thankfully, he didn’t stay too long.

Izo the Kitchen Ninja
Mushrooms and Asparagus

Kayla Cutting the Melons

My Brother, My New Sister, and My Cute Nephew
Scrabble

The Guys Watching the NBA Finals

Connect4 My Dad v. My Aunt

Our Family Photographer
A Night at the Motown Revue

My Pretty Cousin being Serenaded
My Aunt Being Serenaded






My brothers and cousins in the background dancing

A Bear Stopped for a Visit

He Tried to Get Some Food

And then he left

All of Us

A Model Mother

July 11, 2013 / / 0 Comments

If you have been following this blog for the past 19 months, you’ve meet 8 of my 12 family members.

My Family Fantastic

You’ve met my husband, dad, 4 of my 5 brothers, 1 of 2 sisters, and both my cute nephews. You have not read about my mom (Elizabeth), youngest sister (Shannel), or my fourth brother (Manny).

Let’s start with Elizabeth, because she is a model mother. My mother (a former Paris runway model) has lead quite an interesting life. She was chosen as one of a handful of students to integrate her school in 1964.  She then went on to become the first black homecoming queen of her university. Post-college Elizabeth went on to conquer the fashion world in Paris, Milan, and New York City.

Elizabeth in NYC Circa 1978

But then my dad (ever the salesman) convinced my mom to marry him and move down south. Elizabeth had  plans to be a fashion buyer for one of the local department stores, but then I arrived.

And, before I knew it…I had seven siblings and my family seemed quite strange in comparison to others.

Elizabeth home schooled most of us. Opted to have home births administered by midwives. Grew a lot of our food in the back yard. Eliminated the use of microwaves as a health precaution, and didn’t allow us to watch TV during the week. Looking back I can see that the tough decisions my mother made, shaped me and my siblings for the better. But, the strangeness of my family did not go unnoticed by our relatives.

As a result, most of our holidays were spent with just our clan. But, there is an upside to being isolated from extended family…me, my siblings, and my parents are a close-knit bunch.

I am especially close to my mother. Even though, I am married and live 700 miles away…we talk almost everyday. Whenever I go home for an extended period of time, my mother always finds time in her schedule to make my two favorite meals: spaghetti and fried fish. Because my mother is generous, kind, and enthusiastic. In fact, I can always tell when one of my siblings had a particularly challenging athletic event the evening before. Because she always sounds like an eighty-year old chain smoker when she loses her voice the day after.


Sometimes, however, my mother’s enthusiasm can get the best of her. I often tell her haste makes waste. Cut once measure twice. But, I think at this point she is just used to having 9 people depend on her. So, whenever she can get ahead of the game she aims to do so.

One such opportunity reared its head at Thanksgiving a few years ago, before I married Morris.

 

The Lifetime Wedding Planner

Thanksgiving is HUGE in my house, and it is the holiday that everyone tries to make it home for. We had all gathered around the table and were preparing to say the blessing, when my mother announced that she had a gift for me. My little sister ran to get the gift bag and handed it to me with a beaming smile.

The lovely gift bag held a beautiful book that my mother purchased on sale…The Lifetime Wedding Planner. It was complete with budgets, bows, envelopes and everything one needs to plan the perfect wedding. One minor problem. I wasn’t even dating anyone…and haven’t for several years. My five brothers erupted in laughter. And I, I wanted to crawl under a rock.Boy, did she get ahead of the game.

But, that book turned out to be quite handy when Morris and I got married last year.

I guess that’s what makes Elizabeth a model mother, because she thinks ahead and plans for what will be…not what is.

 

« Older posts Newer posts »

Say Howdy to Me!

E-mail : simone@myfamilyfantastic.com
Twitter : @msimoneboyd
YouTube & LinkedIn: M. Simone Boyd

© 2024 My Family Fantastic

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑