Tag: Dr. Gary Chapman

In his book, The Five Love Languages, Dr. Chapman says that love is the primary human emotional need. He explains that problems arise in relationships and families when people have an empty love tank. An empty love tank is the result of not feeling loved.

Dr. Chapman says that learning to speak the primary love language of your spouse and loved ones can radically change his or her behavior.

The Five Love Languages

• Words of Affirmation: use words that build up and encourage. “Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love.” They are best expressed simply such as, “I love your hair.” “You look great in that color.”

• Quality Time: giving your husband your undivided attention. Dr. Chapman cautions not to confuse togetherness with proximity. Togetherness means focused attention i.e. turning the TV off.

• Gifts: a gift is a symbol of thoughts and love.”It doesn’t matter whether it costs money, what is important is that you thought of them.”

• Acts of Service: doing things your husband or loved one would like you to do. This is my love language and I am over the moon when Morris cleans the bathroom.

• Physical Touch: is pretty straightforward. This is Morris’ love language.

Two weeks into our dating, Morris put his hands on my shoulder, looked me straight in the eyes and said “Simone, we are dating now. You have to kiss me as a greeting. Quit it with the waving.” It was super awkward at first. Public displays of affection aren’t really my thing, but I learned. And, our relationship is better for it.

A Full Love Tank

Make sure that when you express love to your husband, family, and friends that you use the right love language. An indicator of their love language may be things they do for you.

Does your friend gives great gifts? Gifts may be her love language.

Does your sister love to hang out? Her love language may be quality time.

Speaking the right love language will keep their love tank full and lead you both to a rich relationship.

Question: What is your love language? And, how do you feel loved?