Creating Experiences That Help Relationships Thrive

Tag: Dreams (Page 2 of 3)

A Kind Rejection

Last week, I received a kind rejection note from one of the magazines that I submitted an article to. Although, I was a wee bit disappointed that I was rejected…the editor was gracious enough to respond in three days and give me constructive criticism.(Typically, editors respond in three months…if they choose to respond.)

My previous two submissions were met with complete silence, and I am thrilled to hear back from someone. So, for me, getting a response is 1) progress and 2) encouraging.

I’ve been on a quest to escape my boring job for 18 months. And after repeating the grueling process of informational interviews, submitting applications, following up, and interviewing for umpteen times. I’ve decided to give up the non-profit job search and refocus my efforts on writing. You know that question that interviewers ask you “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I would always think “Honey, I plan to be on a book tour for my first novel by then.”

But, I would always say “I would like to stay with the organization as long as the relationship is mutually beneficial.” Because you can’t tell an organization that counsels people or educates children that you want to write a novel that tells stories of families conquering life together. Typically, writing novels does not fit into their respective strategic plans.

So, I’ve decided to write with the same fervor that I gave the job search and we’ll see what happens. I don’t know where this writing journey will take me, but I do know one thing- persistence is the key to being successful.
Morris and I studied persistence last week in 12 Traits of the Greats, and it says that “great achievers often achieve great things simply because they refuse to give up. They don’t retreat in the face of setbacks. They don’t shirk in the face of disappointment, and they don’t quiver in the face of delay.”

In my own family, my brother, Isaac, is the model of persistence. He has been relentless in his pursuit of a degree in sociology. Despite setbacks, discouragements, and having to balance being a husband, father, and having a full-time job…he graduated this year. And now, he has been asked to present his Senior Thesis at a sociology conference. I’ll be leaning on Isaac for advice heavily as I pursue this book tour dream, and reminding myself of Winston Churchill’s speech “Never Give In“.

Photo from My Black Piano

I know that you too are pursuing goals and dreams. So, let’s stick with it and keep me updated on your progress…and I’ll write about your journey and we’ll get to the finish line together. Lauzi, a Chinese philosopher, said that “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” So, we might as well get to steppin‘.

Guest Post: On the Road to Nineveh and Getting to Destiny

Obie, My Nephew Cinco, and Me

 

 My life has been interesting from the start. I was born at home and delivered by my father.  I weighed 11 lbs and 12 ounces. Needless to say, I was a huge baby. While growing up, I always seemed like the “special one” out of the rest of my siblings. And when I say “special” I mean; they thought I was mentally challenged!I didn’t talk until I was age five. And, I was confused about my race. I know, special right?

 

But, going into my highschool days there started to be a sense of normality, or so I thought. I was a typical teenager whose mind was not focused on school but rather on hanging with girls and playing Nintendo games. This was the “I can’t” era of my life.

If there was something that was challenging, I always went to the mindset “I can’t”. It started with school, but overflowed into my everyday life. I started to see that I couldn’t complete simple tasks. It was to the point where my mom and older sister, S.B., were ready to whisk me off to military school.

My junior year, my father gave me an ultimatum.  Either I could quit soccer which I loved and play basketball which I despised or I could not play sports at all. I had played soccer since I was four. Soccer was a love and a passion. If I had continued playing soccer and my father had not heard the Lord, and more importantly acted on it- there is no telling where my life would have gone. In high school, I was standing at a stout 5’7, and I am currently standing a lean 6’9.  Needless, to say my dreams to play professional soccer would have been short lived. This is why God established families, and designed them to have a father.

 

Fast forward, I started off at a community college with my older brother, Izo. He helped guide me through the process of how to survive college life and how to get things accomplished.  Not only did that set a precedent on how to handle situations, but it also taught me to work hard and keep a cool head through adversity. Which are some of the key reasons why I have succeeded. When my brother left, graduated and moved on to the next step the Lord had for him…I lost my strength. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, it says two are better than one. And without strength, I fell into despair. I was on an island surrounded by a sea of adversities. And many I swam through, but you only can stay afloat so long by yourself.


To give you a visual on how the direction of my life was going I compare it with the story of Jonah and the whale. My father, while I was young, heard the Lord and spoke my life into a purposed destiny, but like Jonah I strayed away from what I know I was suppose to be doing. I decided to go my own way, and just like the story of Jonah I spent a good a bit of time in the belly of the whale. For me it wasn’t a whale, but I was alone surrounded in a sea of uncertainty.

I still had family, but instead of reaching out I tried to do everything on my own. And, I relied on my own resources. In the end, I quickly sank to the ocean floor weighed down by struggles and I had no idea of where to go. During my sea of uncertainty God took my broken life, fixed it, and he blessed me with a beautiful baby boy.

My Beautiful Boy

This baby boy, honestly, brought me back to the light. I knew the road I was going down was that of destruction. But to see my son be born, and  with his eyes open and hands in the praying position… my heart melted. And on March 23, 2013, I knew I had to get back on track. So, the Lord allowed me a second chance to fulfill my destiny. I’m not quite to Nineveh yet,  but I’m on the road…. and I know it will be a beautiful journey.

Getting to Destiny-
Zaiah

The Know It All

I became one them y’all. Yes, the dreaded know it all. I was sitting at my desk last week, and decided to review my first blog, Countdown 2 My Brother’s Wedding. It was fun to go back and read what my single self thought about being single. And, then I noticed that I was content being single, and most of the commentators were content being single.

The problem was the know it alls that inserted themselves in my life and were always pushing me to get married, start a family, find somebody, etc. etc.

Well, I became that Know It All.

I was having dinner with a lovely friend, and I casually mentioned “So, are you dating anyone?”

“No,” she said.

“Well, don’t you worry. God, has someone really awesome for you! I just know it,” I said.

“Perhaps, God doesn’t. Some people are called to singleness, like the apostle Paul,” She said.

And, I thought hmmmm… maybe.  But you, you are pretty and smart, and kind…surely there is someone out there for you. And, then I began to run down the list of all the eligible bachelors that we know and ask whether or not each and everyone was a suitable match.

How dreadful of me?!?! I had done exactly what I previously complained about, and inserted myself into her life.

Sadly, my lovely friend is not alone. My long-suffering siblings have to put up with my know-it-all self sometimes too. I shared a couple of months ago about my younger brother that failed to follow the plans I had for his life. He is doing amazingly well, and has written a guest post for next week.

It just goes to show you, I do not Know It All.

 

The Battle of the Bulge

It was a cold, misty day in December of 1944. One thousand tanks and 200,000 German troops launched Hitler’s final attempt to beat back the Allied Troops in France. The Germans began their assault in the Ardennes Forest. The line of defense stretched for 75 miles (pictured above), and a rag-tag bunch of inexperienced and war-torn American soldiers were stationed there for rest.  The Germans broke through the line (depicted in yellow) after a day of fighting and surrounded most of an infantry division.

Stories of horror began to spread. And, the Belgians began to hide their Allied flags and bring out the swastikas. The British waited to see how the Americans would respond to such a terrifying German offense.

General Dwight D. Eisenhower, the Allied Commander, rushed in reinforcements to help beat back the Germans. And, within days American soldiers were launching counterattacks. The story of this battle is one of American courage. American soldiers, often isolated, were relentless in slowing down and fighting the Nazi advance. They blocked roads. They burned stored gasoline to keep it from enemy tanks. And, marched in deep snow drifts to restore the line of defense that set the stage for victory.*

Sir Winston Churchill described the battle as “…the greatest American battle of war and will.”

I heard the story of this Battle a few months ago on NPR. And, I thought it was appropriate to share because 1) it is Independence week and 2)  it made me think about my own personal battles**.

The Battle of the Bulge was a huge setback for the Allied Forces. The war had appeared to be almost over. And, then the dang Nazis came charging in. But, the American soldiers didn’t give up. They kept fighting.

April and May were good months for me. Our small group Bible study ended well. We had an awesome Cub Scout end of the year picnic. I began running again. I lost five pounds. I was writing consistently. Our family reunion was a success. I was blogging regularly, and getting good traffic.

Then June came.

And, I found those five pounds. And, I didn’t write or blog. And, I felt guilty. Because I planned to report on my goal progress in June, but my progress has been dismal. So, I revisited the Battle of the Bulge.

The Battle was a turning point in War World II, and the Allied Forces went on to win. I find it super encouraging to know that a setback was not the end of the story, and it  makes me want to fight even more for my goals. I did lose some ground, but the end of this year is going to be awesome.

If you have lost any ground on your goals this year…don’t lose heart. We have six months ahead of us.
So, let’s get to work.

*Source: Army Features- http://www.army.mil/botb/overview.html

**In NO way am I trying to equate my personal struggles to those of the aforementioned American heroes.

Being Fit

Being fit is easiest when you have a partner. Someone that pushes you, keeps you accountable, and makes you go the extra mile.

A few years ago, I made a friend at a pilates class in my neighborhood. We started training for the Army 10-Miler together, and I was in the best shape of my life. My friend, R, ran cross country in college. So, I was a bit scared to run with her. But, R was patient and my mile time went from 12 minutes and 30 seconds to 9 minutes and 25 seconds for a mid-distance run. That’s what a good partner will do…make you better.

Michaela, R, and Me at the Army 10-Miler

But, being fit is not limited to physical fitness. Being fit, includes all aspects of our lives: spiritual, mental, financial, and the list continues.

A few days ago, my blog buddy called me to break some bad news. “Your blog is getting sorry,” he said.  Those were not his exact words, but that was the message that was communicated. “I know, I know,” I mumbled as I began to sink in my chair.

I knew my content had not been strong lately, but I didn’t think anyone had noticed. So, I rested my forehead on my desk and settled in for my verbal flogging. My blog buddy explained that the content had been a bit random lately and that I needed to re-focus on the intent of the blog. At the end of the conversation, I thanked him the sound advice and told him that I loved him. My blog buddy is my younger brother, Israel.

Issachar and Israel

I would describe Israel as the most confident of all of my siblings and a bit of a know-it-all. But, he is also generous and he likes to share the wisdom he has amassed in all his 25 years of living. He is so generous, in fact, that he once gave dating advice to his boss.

Nevertheless, I am proud of him. Israel earned his Masters in public affairs last year, is working full-time, paid cash for a 2010 Nissan Maxima, and worked his way through college by playing Division I basketball. So, despite not knowing it all…he is pretty smart. And, it was nice to get advice from my younger brother, because as the oldest child I feel like I am always giving advice.

Do you have partner/friend that makes you better? Or a sibling that gives you sage advice? If so, sound off in the comments and I’ll write about the person that makes you better.

Idle Threat

Morris and I saw an inspiring documentary last week, Idle Threat. It explained the threats posed to the environment by running your engine for minutes at a time while your car is in park. The film was shown at a community center in our neighborhood in conjunction with the environmental film festival.

I know what you are thinking, how is that inspiring?

Well, the 60-minute film is centered on George Pakenham’s one-man fight against idling in New York City. George fights idling by knocking on the car windows of unsuspecting idlers, explains the hazards to the environment, the associated fines for idling in New York City, and asks them to turn their engine off.

 Based on his reports, 80 percent of offenders turn off their engines. However, it is the responses of the other 20 percent that make for a funny and entertaining movie.

Mr. Pakenham has documented more than 2000 interactions with idling offenders, lobbied the New York City Council to enforce the current idling laws, and won by having parking enforcement officers assigned to write tickets to idlers.

I found this movie inspiring, because Mr. Pakenham is making a difference in the world…something I want to do too. So, it got me to thinking.

Am I passionate about anything? Is there anything I am willing to talk about  everyday to complete strangers? As a christian, I know what the answer should be…but I feel like I am really falling short by comparison to Mr. Pakenham.

2013 Goals

I like to begin the year by setting new goals. I set my goals based on the person I hope to become. For example, I hope to be a good wife and one of my goals is to play a sport with Phillip. I also want to win a Pulitzer Prize and two of my goals involve writing. I like to think of each year as a step toward living an extraordinary life.

2013 Goals
1. Complete One Bible Study with Phillip
2. Post 52 Blog Entries this Year
3. Lose 4 Pounds
4. Play a Sport with Phillip
5. Write 2 Letters per Week
6. Publish a Paid Article
7. Write 50,000 words
 

However, there seems to be a trend that is down on goal setting/new year’s resolutions. After talking with a few friends, the sentiment seems to be that setting goals is setting yourself up for disappointment.
 

But, I disagree. A goal missed, is better than a goal never set. There are lessons to be learned in goal setting. I set a goal to have two hundred blog followers last year. I failed. This year, my goal is to post 52 blog entries. 
 

I learned that I have to set goals based on my input, not an expected output. 

So, if you are reading this blog perhaps we can help each other. If you are anti-new year’s resolutions, perhaps you can help me see the folly in my logic. If you are pro-new year’s resolutions, perhaps we can help keep each other on task. 
 
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