I worry that Issachar will end up like Miley Cyrus. You know, one day she was a sweet, innocent kid from Tennessee, and the next day she was broadcasting her fanny across the globe.
Although, I worry about Michaela and Issachar…the only thing I really have control over is my relationship with them. As a sister, I just want everything to be right with my siblings. But, I’m beginning to realize that I can not protect them from the world. I can only give suggestions, share my experience, and hope that they avoid life’s hardships.
I’ve spent the last few days soul searching on how to be a better sister to my siblings. And, I asked my siblings to send me one thing I do well as a sister and one thing that bothers them. It came up that I am judgmental/critical/not supportive.
My first thought was ” I am NOT judgemental. I just want people to do what’s right.”
Oh, wait.
Perhaps, I AM judgemental. (insert sigh) I’ll work on that.
After a lot of reflection, here are five steps that I think will help us be better sisters.
- ASKAsk your siblings how you can improve on being a sister.
In business, there is something called a peer review or 360 degree feedback. It gives employees a chance to seek feedback from their peers. It’s a good way, to eliminate blind spots, improve relationships, and establish trust. I think the same can be done for families. Who knows you better than your siblings?!
- LISTEN Listen, process, and hear what your sibling has to say.
Resist the temptation to defend yourself. There is simply nothing worse than someone asking you for feedback and then beating you down once you are honest. Be prepared to hear things that may be hurtful, but will improve your relationship in the long run.
- HONOR Honor you siblings gifts, talents, and abilities.
You aren’t the only one with good sense. You were both created in God’s image and you should recognize that. I heard Pastor Kevin Gerald talk about Honor a few years ago, and it changed my life. He says that honor elevates everything, and we can’t go to the next level in our business, relationships, or families until we learn to honor. Pastor Gerald says that we must honor first, with no strings attached, in agreement and disagreement, and freely. From then on, I’ve made a concerted effort to honor people.
The world will be a better place if we honor each other. Let’s start with our families.
- CHANGE Do everything in your power to change immediately.
If you are told that you are late. Be early. If you are told that you talk too much. Be quiet. If you are told judgemental, keep your opinion to yourself.
The strength of your relationship depends on your willingness to change.
- FOLLOW UP Thank your sibling, and ask them if its okay to follow up.
Call it a quarterly review, if you will. Promise to check in on your status. Mark it on your calendar, just like a doctor’s appointment and do it. Be sincere in your efforts to change. Siblings can tell if you don’t mean it.
I hope these tips help you along the road to a better relationship with your siblings. Love, Simone
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