My Family Fantastic

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Four Year Anniversary & I FINALLY Get What My MIL Was Saying

Four Year Anniversary

Last month, Morris and I celebrated our four year anniversary. When I walked down the aisle toward him four years ago, I was a little scared.

Scared that our love was a phase, it would fade away, and soon we’d settle into a life of mediocrity. But Mom Boyd, Morris’ Mom, told me something that stuck with me:

“What you have now is nothing compared to what you’ll have later.”

I wasn’t quite sure what she meant. But now that we are four years down the road, I FINALLY get it…

  1. Love Grows with Time

The Power of Accountability

Mom Boyd & Me

What she was saying, is that your love will grow deeper with time. Sure, we were in love then. But what we have now is:

  • Friendship
  • Understanding
  • And the history and experiences of time that knit two hearts together

He’s my best friend, and I can’t imagine what living one day longer than him would feel like.

Back then, I was also worried about being unequally yoked. All those questions have been answered on so many levels.

Every day before Morris leaves the house, he wraps his arms around me and says a prayer that the Lord will keep us safe and that I’ll have a productive writing day. I’m excited to see what the Lord does as we continue to grow in Him and toward each other.

  1. Leverage Each Other’s Strengths

Over the past few years, we’ve traveled half way around the world together…

And we’ve learned some things about each other’s strengths…

Morris has spidey senses when it comes to navigating a transit system in any language, and I have a pretty solid sense of direction above ground. He is the visionary, and I am the planner and implementer. He comes up with the grandiose dream and I figure out the 67 steps it’ll take to get us there—this role is not to be confused with that of a Debbie Downer.

(By the way, we’re getting ready to launch a new project on building local communities. So you’ll be hearing directly from the boss of the Boyd household soon!)

  1. Trouble Will Come, Learn to Manage

 We’ve also learned to navigate the highs and lows of life as they come. Like, when we missed our flight to Miami last month….

 

When we first got married, we’d get testy with each other. (We still do on occasion.) But we’ve learned to channel that frustration in helpful ways. Like:

  • Dragging each other to the gym
  • Creating To-Do Lists to Move Forward
  • Learning How to Comfort Each Other
  • And, most importantly, buying each other our favorite foods. Me: Cupcakes. Him: Fancy Cheese and Crackers.
  1.  Have Fun. Every. Single. Day 

The business of life can suck the fun out of your soul.  So we dance, sing, and laugh a lot to combat that.

Whether it’s in the kitchen or in the grocery store…find a way to steal a little fun out of life’s mundane moments. It’s a lesson we learned from an afternoon with our marriage mentors. They’ve been married 50 plus years and laugh every other minute…even if there’s nothing funny to laugh about.

So we’ve taken that lesson from their playbook, and I hope you will too. Sometimes it can take a four year time span for a life lessons to sink in. But, hopefully, I’m not the only one that’s a little slow on the uptake.

Love, Simone

Question:  What lessons have you learned over a period of time, that took a while for your to process? 

29 Comments

  1. Congrats on your four year anniversary, Simone! What a blessing! And the picture with the “bad hair day” had me smiling because your hair looked good to me! 🙂
    Monica afrotasticlady recently posted…Blog Series: Dear Little Sis, JS’s LetterMy Profile

    • Simone

      May 12, 2016 at 8:21 pm

      Awhhh! Thanks, Monica. It IS a blessing, and I’m just so grateful for the lessons the Lord continues to teach me each.
      Gurrrl, you are SOOO sweet…I can’t even look at that picture without cringing:-).

  2. I love, love, LOVE all of these awesome pictures!!!!! I’m a sucker for a genuine love story. Thank you for this reminder not to settle, but to wait patiently for what God has for me: a best friend, someone who get’s me and wants to be ‘gotten’ so to speak.

    Besides the beauty of the pics, thanks for sharing the lessons you’ve learned from being married for four years. So many people have the mentality that marriage is some kind of ending, when really, it’s an amazing beginning!
    Faith Simone recently posted…Author Spotlight: ReUnited-A Gift From GodMy Profile

    • Simone

      May 12, 2016 at 8:35 pm

      Hey Faith! Thanks for the kind words about the pictures, Lady! It was a bit of a bear to upload and figure out how to format them…so I really appreciate the love.

      I can’t tell you enough not to settle. I almost did. I’d decided that I COULD make it work, but thankfully that young man dumped me. God does ALL things well. Sure, you’ll have problems and struggles. But when you are with the one God has, you don’t have to conform or pretend. As you know, Morris has stuck with me with ALL my crazieness…only God can do that. And I SO want this for all my sisters in Christ. It’s what I pray for…that we will continue to be steadfast in the wait.

      This right here–>> “So many people have the mentality that marriage is some kind of ending, when really, it’s an amazing beginning!” Amen to that, Sis. Amen to that.

  3. Happy Anniversary to you & your hubby!! 🙂

    What an awesome post! I loved the pointers—-especially having fun every single day. That’s just soooo important for every single person on every single level.
    ~Erica L. Crump

    P.S. That picture of you throwing away your receipts is confirmation that I need to get rid of mine from 2011. Ha!

    • Simone

      May 12, 2016 at 8:43 pm

      Gurrrl, you might still need those receipt from 2011!!! I kid. Omigoodness, when we moved in together, he put his foot down on the receipts. Granted I did have 3 boxes full, but I was still fighting the brother on it:-).

      Thanks a bunch, Erica, for stopping by and the kind words! I am very grateful to be celebrating four years. And you are so right, having fun everyday is important for every. single. person. Because it reminds of the simple joy in another day.

  4. Thanks so much for your blog! I love it ❤️

    • Simone

      May 15, 2016 at 2:48 pm

      Hey Ro! Thank you SO much for stopping by, reading and commenting! It makes my heart happy.

  5. Love this! And so GOOD to hear from you sis :-). I so agree with Monica, ur hair was amazing in that pic!! I appreciate ur wisdom shared and your role as the planner is exactly how I envisioned my future marriage. He will be the visionary, I will be the one to make it come to pass…CONFIRMATION! Love ya!

    • Simone

      May 15, 2016 at 3:20 pm

      Hey Nicole,

      Sorry that I’ve been MIA. The past few weeks have been a blur. You and Miss Monica are too much!!! Thank you for the kinds words about that frizz fest on my head masquerading as hair:-).

      About that role as planner, I was half joking/half serious about being a Debbie Downer. But your comment reminded me of something, and I talked to Morris about it at breakfast this morning.

      When we first got married, he would share a vision or dream I would often be running down the reasons why it wasn’t ‘realistic’ in my head (sometimes out loud). And unknowingly, I was being a dream killer. Visionaries have LOTS of ideas and visions, but not all of theme stick. For people like us, the planners, we don’t say anything or plan anything until we are ready to give it 110.

      Morris gave this analogy to a vision being a party balloon, some burst and some stick around. As, implementers, we have to be good at listening to determine which ideas, visions, and dreams stick around…and then go to work. But it’s good just to let dreamers dream for the joy of it…

      I hope this make sense, I feel like I’m rambling. But I just wanted to share something else, I’ve learned on this path. Love you, Simone

      • Excellent counsel! I will definitely pay attention to that. I never thought about the tendency to shoot dreams down. I’m excited that in my new job I get to work with a visionary. He is actually an architect. It is really building my faith for entrepreneurship to see his ideas come to fruition. I guess b/c he is a boss I’m not apt to shoot anything down, I’m more interested in seeing God teach me about faith in this way. Also he’s been doing this for 20 years so clearly he knows what he’s doing 🙂 LOL Thanks!

        • Simone

          May 17, 2016 at 6:07 pm

          Sure thing! Happy I could share. The Lord just sort of reminded me of my mistakes along the way of being an implementer:). Prayerfully, you can skip all that!

          I so love reading about your new assignment from how God brought it to past to what He’s teaching you. I heard a teaching a few months ago on the professions of different disciples, and how being business leaders gave them the freedom to follow Jesus. I’m excited to see what He speaks to you about faith and entrepreneurship. And what a gift to work with someone whose had long-term success in that arena!

          • Awesome!! God has been very clear about my path in business and now writing. I kept trying to put myself into a box and limit Him but He will get all of His gifts and talents out of us!! Our paths are tailor made for who we are in Him 🙂

  6. My heart is so happy after taking in this glimpse of your love story! I’m laughing because I think 4 years is pretty quick for letting that lesson sink in… Lately it’s been resonating with me about the depth of my love for Billy… And it’s been 18 years! I find inspiration and hope in looking at you… And hearing your video… HILARIOUS! Billy and I were were just sharing with a friend how you blessed us with salsa lessons when u were here… And when we saw them tearing up the floor in Puerto Rico, we took a spot WAY back on the dance floor and hid from the masters!!! Love you Simone…. Thanks for sharing, and please keep writing. Btw: that book is powerful and needed! I can’t wait to see how God uses it !

    • Simone

      May 16, 2016 at 5:55 pm

      All I can say is…Praise the Lord, Linda. You and Billy have played such a critical role in our story! My heart never would have healed/reconciled to the idea of marriage until I lived with y’all. I mean just witnessing how you do life, honor each other, and invest in your children…has set the pace for us. Isn’t it amazing how God uses us to bless each other?!

      Omigoodness, I am so grateful Morris had the presence of mind to make a video in that moment. It is SO funny to us now…but when we were 25 people back from TSA and the last boarding call was being given. Wheh! Let’s just say Grace kept us. Because it would have been so easy for him to blame me, I picked the wrong line (twice!) But he didn’t.

      I forgot all about those lessons!!! You don’t know how happy it makes to know they are still being put to good use. It was the LEAST I could do for all that your family gave me! Love you SO much! And we’ll see what the Lord does with the book…it is definitely a faith walk.

  7. Simone! I love everything about this post. Thank you for sharing the pics and the wisdom – it’s been 4 years already!? So encouraging. Also, haven’t you heard? Fuzzy is the new sleek (or at least that’s what I tell myself every morning) 😉

    • Simone

      May 16, 2016 at 8:44 pm

      Hey Jessica!!! So good to hear from you, Friend. All I can say is…Praise the Lord!

      And thanks for the kind words on the pics, for me they were an awesome reminder for all that God has done for us. It took me a while to process the lessons He was trying to teach me. But better late than never, right?! It blesses my soul to hear what I’m learning is encouraging to you too.

      I LOVE this: Fuzzy is the new sleek *insert church wave*. Words to live by!!!

  8. My heart is smiling! 🙂 May God’s grace and blessing continue to be upon the both of you.

    • Simone

      May 17, 2016 at 6:01 pm

      Ohhh! Thank you SO much for those words of encouragement, Nan. We have so much to be grateful for.

  9. Happy Happy Anniversary, wishing you both many more years to come

  10. Awesome blog, Simone!! Thank you for sharing your insight and giving a peak into your marriage and relationship(s). I am indeed taking notes! Also, love the pictures 😊😊

    • Simone

      May 18, 2016 at 2:20 pm

      Hey Carmen!!! Thanks for stopping by and the kind words. You know, God has shown me SOOO much grace (despite my MANY mistakes) and I just want to share what He is doing in our lives. My hope is that my sisters (like you!) will skip as much of the hardships as possible. Morris took 99 percent of the pics…so I’ll pass along the love. I don’t include pics on my of my posts, though…so I’m going to have to change that! Sending you a great big hug!
      Simone

  11. Bertha Charles Meyer

    May 19, 2016 at 11:14 am

    Hey Simone:
    Just enjoyed reading your entire blog. Fantastic and very helpful especially to young couples!!! You are a great writer too! I look forward to meeting your other half. Blessings and many more!
    Coco’s Mom

    • Simone

      May 19, 2016 at 5:43 pm

      Hey Mrs. Bertha!!!
      Thanks for stopping by and for reading. It just warmed my heart to see your name!

      Do you remember buying me and the ladies ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ all those years ago? I still have my copy! Had I read it early, I probably could have skipped some heartache. But God continues to show grace, and I just want to point people to Him. Me and the hubby have a lot to be grateful for. Next time you’re in the city, we MUST visit! I know you’ll be visiting more now that Coco’s bundle of joy is here:-).

      Love and Hugs,
      Simone

  12. Happy Four Year Anniversary! This post just made me feel all the warm & fuzzies. As I am going through the process of preparing for the journey of marriage it can be so overwhelming and I love reading your posts. Even from far away you always inspire me. Thank you for being so fabulous

    • Simone

      June 6, 2016 at 7:55 pm

      Virginia!!! I was just thinking of you and Gabo the other day. I’m over the moon for you both. Married life is definitely a process and journey, but I’m 100 percent certain that y’all will learn and grow together! Take the high with the lows and hang on to each other. Sending you a great big hug, Friend!

      Love, Simone

  13. Hi Simone,

    Wow, four years already! Congrats on the recent anniversary.

    I thought I was the only one who cherished words received on my wedding day. Our friend, Pastor David Miller, shared this nugget with Uncle Wayne and I:

    He asked us to describe HOW we felt right after the ceremony was over. (He was back east so we were instructed to call him on the phone -landline, btw!) Well, we both shared some derivative of happy or elated. Then, he counseled us to remember those words for when, not if, the times got hard! Guess what, it has worked all these years, too.

    Your MIL sounds like a great person!

    • Simone

      June 6, 2016 at 8:10 pm

      Hey!!! Thanks so much for stopping by, sharing and the kind words. Yes, four years and it almost feels like a blink!

      I’ve NEVER heard that before, but I love Pastor Dave’s advice: capture the sentiments from the BIG Day. It makes so much sense, because the day goes by so fast. A blurr really. You are surrounded with family, friends and filled with so much hope for the future. And before you know it…the hum drum of life smacks you in the face. A landline? I couldn’t help but smile at that. I’m going to pass this nugget along!!!

      I have to say, I hit the jackpot with my Mother in Law. Mom Boyd is nothing short of a gift.

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