My Family Fantastic

Creating Experiences That Help Relationships Thrive

The Dating Intervention (Update)


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A few years ago my dear friend and colleague, Marie, came to my office. I could tell by the way her eye brows were furrowed that she meant business. She edits my work too. So, my first thought was “Lord, what have I done now?”

She sat down and began with the usual pleasantries. “How are you? What are your plans for the weekend, etc. etc.” I explained (nonchalantly) that I was going to run, hang out with some friends, see a musical…the usual.

And then the boot dropped. Marie was here to stage an intervention for my dating life.

“Simone, do you even want to meet a guy? I mean, have you even asked God where you can meet guys? I mean to date…not to evangelize. Seriously, he’s not going to show up on your door step wearing a t-shirt that says ‘I’m the one.’ Simone, I don’t think you are taking this stuff seriously because if you were…you would be trying to make yourself available. Its going to take two years you know. One to date and a year to be engaged. Have you thought about that? I doubt it. Because clearly, you’d be frustrated if you had!”

People, I cannot make this stuff up.

So, after an hour of “counseling.” We agreed that I would make better decisions on how I spent my time. The goal was to make myself more available to meeting guys.

As a good faith effort, I decided to go to a fireworks display that Saturday night, rather than a musical. Let’s face it there wouldn’t be any eligible bachelor’s at Mama Mia .

However, I didn’t tell Marie that I spent Friday night…in my apartment…reading a book until 4:30 a.m. That would have landed me another tongue lashing.

Thank God for Marie, though. Being available is a big part of the dating game. And, she knew what she was talking about too, because less than two years later…I was hitched.


  1. Thanks so much for the walk down memory lane, Simone! I remember you telling a couple of us this story a while back. Now that I'm hearing/reading:) it again, a question comes to mind. How did being "more available" by going out really lead to you meeting Morris? Or what is just God's timing. Since you ended up "re-meeting" Morris in the metro can you clarify what really changed and what really impacted your dating? Did you meet anyone as a result of being more "available." Or did just getting into the "available" mindset make a difference. Just wondering.

  2. It's the available mindset. It affects how we interact with others and particularly men. You may recall that Morris and I met on the Metro, but that was 3 years earlier. Six weeks after this conversation, Morris and I began dating.

    An unavailable mindset is being open. Rather than,"don't even look at me…I am busy doing the Lord's work and don't have time to waste on you Mr." Which is the very mindset I had previously. Our mindset affects how we act and react.

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